Phun, calamity, and bending the sliding scale of "normal".

It is hard to believe that we are nearing the final leg of the Love Fest 2010 tour.  But it’s true.  The lights are dimming, the finale and the encore is on the horizon, but the love….still alive!  To say that this has been an exciting trip would be an understatement.  To state, ‘what a long strange trip it’s been’ would be oh so true!  The bottom line is that it has been very relaxing and very spiritual.  We had no commitments or obligations really to speak of other than our home and dog sitting gig here in paradise….like this is a real obligation especially considering that people pay to be able to vacation where we’ve lived virtually for free the past 14 days….I aint complaining!  We were truly blessed!!  There is a story behind it all and it will all be in the book.  Which brings me to a point.  How many of you think that this is just a coined phrase, this “in the book” thing?  Uh huh, this is what I thought.  Truth is that the book is being written already as we speak!  No deadline or publishing date.  No worries.  But there will be a book some day down the road be it sooner or later.  The names will be changed to protect the innocent and as not to screw the guilty, but the content is real, and hopefully it will sell.  Fact is there is a lot on my plate in general, so I have to try and manage time the best I can, therefore it sometimes seems to take the back seat.  But this vacation has been an inspiration to say the least, and I have been blessed the opportunity to find my mind silent for a change.  Reflection is a good thing!  I have been able to do some writing this trip which has been fulfilling for me.

I could detail some highlights to this trip but in the true “undisclosed” nature of it all, this would be too much information, or at very least could give up the secret location!  I can say to you this much though.  It has been like going from B block to General Pop being outside of Alaska!  It seems the longer we are living in Alaska, the more difficult it is to adjust when we go outside.  Alaska is so low keyed and in general most people are ….normal!  Life in general is somewhat of a testimony or set back, to like 25, 30 years ago.  Simple and basic! 

People on the outside in general seem so much different and there is so much that is….for lack of words, annoying here; outside!  I mean people can just flat out be freaky!  I haven’t figured out if the dope their on is legal or not, but whatever the case they may find some light out if they get off whatever they are on, man!

I thought that in Alaska, I have seen some things that were odd….or at least that is what I used to think until I realized that Alaskans are just resourceful.  Take for instance the time I was pumping gas out on northroad and this worn and worked over Honda Civic comes pulling in, with the front windshield completely missing.  Enough in itself to turn heads, especially when you consider that it was about 15 degrees outside on this particular afternoon.  But what amazed me was the resourcefulness that the driver and what I presume his girlfriend, the passenger, were geared with.  Most people would go out and spend the money to either get a car that actually had a fully functional windshield intact or go out and pay the bucks to have a new one installed.  Instead, in the true nature of ‘resourcefulness’, these two improvised with what they already had at home, more than likely for their 4-wheelers.  She jumps’ out of the passenger door, takes off her padded down jacket and scarf just to reveal her other big jacket underneath, pulls off her motorcycle helmet complete with tinted full-on face glass, and runs into the mini mart to get milk, while dude sits in the car, engine still running with the heater on….and no windshield… pulls off his helmet and has a smoke!  Minutes later she returns… all the while me still pumping gas in utter amazement at what has been unfolding before me… suits back up into her billowy down jacket, zips up, they both put their motorcycle helmets back on, put it into gear and take off, out the parking lot and flying down the highway!  But I mean, this is resourcefulness, man!  They saved money by not buying a vehicle equipped with the standard equipment (a windshield) and utilized what they had at home for off trail riding, to second for the missing front windshield!


Today we saw something that takes the whole “I thought that in Alaska, I have seen some things that were odd” theory and just tips the scale of ‘normal’!  We come around the corner cruising in our vehicle at like impulse speed, windows down, morning dew in our hair, shaking our heads tapping our toes, listening to the Grateful Dead on XM radio (a huge caveat to Love Fest this year) with nothing left to do but smile, smile , smile… and along comes this guy doing like warp 5 in a small pick-up truck, about on our side of the road, his entire head out the drivers door window with some kind of lost and spaced look on his face, completely unphased at the fact that he nearly is running us off the road, without so much of an expression, other than his blank stare into…nowhere!  Mind you, we were never in any danger other than being bewildered and beside ourselves on just what was going through his mind at the time….if anything at all, and I seriously wonder about that!  Remember the two guppies we are sitting which I remarked earlier in the week that are smarter than some humans I know….?!  Now with every kind of lifestyle drug available on the market from capsules that can give you a 4 hour bionic woody, or pills that can make one so happy that even a catastrophe such as world war III couldn’t wipe the smile from your face, all the way to legal marijuana that can be delivered to your front door within an hour, with a pretty bow wrapped around the labeled sack, complete with a receipt and a smile….it is no frigging wonder that people on the outside can sometimes be just out there, and man, I am here to tell you that we have almost seen it all this past 14 days, and there is still 3 more days to go…. and we haven’t even gotten to Bozo’s big top yet!

But all the same, despite the antics that seem to gravitate towards us at times, like for example the woman  that was doing 5 mph down a main road which the speed limit was 35, constantly stopping her vehicle, backing it up for absolutely no reason before she would put it into drive and resume her 5 mile an hour romp….and she was wearing rubber gloves…. Or the mindless man that bumped himself in front of a little old lady in line at the local market, to purchase his 1 good, only to go back out into his minivan parked outside with the headlights on and the engine shut off, just to sit there combing his hair in the rear view mirror for what amounted to almost 3 minutes…. No, despite all of this and so much more in the way of weirdom, we have had a blast!  The time at the beach, the time at our little bungalow, hitting the sidewalk café’s and coffeehouses, the street markets, our time together every single day…everything we have done has been so relaxing and so very recharging for us.

Take for example the game of miniature golf at the local indoor miniature golf  house.  A calming sport to say the least.  Check this out, it was not only indoors, but the entire experience from the minute you walked in the door was under black lights, with everything….and I mean every single thing, glowing fluorescent….even your balls…. (wink) so you could see them!  It was the first time in probably 20 years or more that we played miniature golf.  This was made painfully apparent as I, the first to putt at the course of the1st hole, got a little too happy with my swing and sent my peach glowing  ball flying past the sign in front of us that said in big, bold…fluorescent letters… “This Is Not A Driving Range!"… only to ricochet what I recall to be four times, us, only seeing  a peach streak rocketing about the 1st and 2nd courses, before it safely landed behind some blue glowing dolphin, standing in the middle of the 3rd hole.  Maryann and the other person playing through with us, covered their faces with their hands and silently walked away trying hard to contain their laughter and from losing control all over themselves….at my expense…but despite it all it was fun!  After I toned down my swing a few or more notches and got the feel for it, we all golfed our asses off but had a hell of a time doing it!

Tomorrow marks Maryann’s birthday, and our 15th wedding anniversary.  And for those of you smart ones that think you have that figured this one out by thinking to yourselves, “what a clever little jackass he is….marrying her on her birthday so he will never forget the date of their anniversary”.  All I have to say to this nonsense is, “now we know what ‘your’ story is”!  At the risk of sounding mushy, she never really felt too much importance with her birthdays growing up through the years.  I wanted every birthday for the rest of her life to be special for her, because she is so special to me…that is why I married her on her birthday.  ….and yes, she does get two presents!  This years’ birthday is actually a very special one for her, as she actually will turn one year younger….in her mind.  She thought…no, she feared, that this year she was going to be __.  But, one night about a couple months back when she was sulking about turning __ this year, I pointed out to her that she really was only going to be__, not__!  She sat there in denial until we started with 19__, the year she was born, and counted up to this year, 2010.  That is when she had this huge sigh of relief, her facial look of remorse shifted and she has been happy again ever since!

There it is in a nutshell.  True stories from the road, as we begin to wind down 14 days of fun, music, complete irresponsibility, and….LOVE… with 3 more days to go!  I wouldn’t change anything about Love Fest 2010, but I cannot wait to walk out the door of the airport in Anchorage and kiss the ground below my feet.  I miss home, I miss the kids, I miss the dogs, and surely, I miss Alaska, our one true home!  There is more to come though…but not in this post, only because I am to tired to write it tonight, and...it hasn‘t happened yet!  Signing off for now, live from the undisclosed location of Love Fest 2010.…with a time lapse of 12 hours from this posts completion until press….due to no internet connection…. we bid you good night!