Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I wanna be a packaging designer!

Yes, it's true. I have long yearned to be in the most important ranks of product planning and safety. It's true, for years I have sighed...cussed....spit...arghed...laughed myself into a frenzy....and even sung songs, spontaneously blurting out lyrics that have even amazed my wife... All in the name of product packaging. Oh, the list goes on from the Kirkland brand milk cartons that will almost inevitably spill each time you pour a cup of milk, the razor sharp plastic packing that everything from tools to toys come in...of which I have lacerated myself with many times over the years. To those idiotic 'eco friendly' gas cans that they came out with a few years back. The ones you had to read instructions to figure out how to use and spilled more gas than a typical gas can could ever concieve.... The lids that a poor senior has to hire a young and spry go-getter to undo just so they can eat. And how about those chip or candy packaged that can only be opened by pulling opposite directions, the foil bag ends that retain them so that wheh the ends finally do give, the contents spray airbound and all over! The list goes on and for years I have been dismayed over it all. I think it was right after the Tylenol poisonings in the 80's that company's began to hire over educated thinkers to design people proof containers.....and by god they have over the years succeeded and it seems to just keep getting worse, this move towards over achievement!! They have gotten so good with it that the simple minded, the elder, the strong...the weak, the spastic, the over medicated, the wise, essentially most of society in general cannot normally function in the face of people proof products! And so I want to be an idiot, just like the brainards who sit in corners of cubicles, being overpaid to be stupid! I think that would be so cool to be able to fool society into thinking that they know how to open something, all the while getting paid to know that I will foil their every attempt and logic. I could spend my days thinking of ingenious ways to keep people out of everything they use as a normal course of life. Imagine: people proof toilet paper rolls.....perfect for the times that you just need a roll because the person before you forgot to reload. Kid proof video games that they can only open if they are hopped up on candy and power drinks climbing the walls backwards. I could eliminate alcoholism by inventing people proof beer and liquor bottles. They can only be opened by slamming them into a curb. Bandages that can only be opened with your teeth for those times that that both phalanges are bloody stumps... I suppose the list would be endless, and all the while I would get paid for being a complete idiot in designing impractical packaging! You would never guess who spilled the milk just one too many times now....?

We awoke to a baby moose at the patio table yesterday morning. Mind you, this is only about a month and a half old. Was too cute. When mama came down the driveway looking for it, she had a look of disdain on her face almost like baby had gotten too curious and wandered away. And the moment baby saw mom, skipped off as to say..."mommy, mommy, look what I found..." Not sure which mama/baby team this was, as I think there are a few running around our immediate area! Other than that summer has been quiet, mild, sunny and fun, with lots of time to streak about what with the kid gone now! Check out Marlin Perkins' Wild Kingdom at the compound....
Where's the food, man!?

While mom is away the calf will play?

Keep in mind, the weeds mom is standing in are about 4 foot high....

Now, this bewildered fella is a stunned Ptarmigan who pummeled himself into the front door window. 'Buddy the bear's' head seemed like the perfectly logical spot to put his hemispheres back in phase.

Funny thing is that this little guy let me walk within a couple feet of him and feared not to flutter off. Kind of helps I suppose when your head is not on straight! He stayed on Buddy's head through the night and finally flew off the next morning after Maryann left for the office.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Once again, Fathers Day June 21st, the summer has peaked and over the other end we go!! In some senses it is somewhat sad as we slowly begin to lose daylight. Mind you it is very much unnoticeable right now, but nonetheless we know it is happening!

So I finally got my wish and in a timely manner for my birthday. Maryann....the sweetest wife that she is....bought me a ticket to Cali for my birthday! And so even though solo, I spent 7 wonderful days visiting friends and family, surprising the piss out of people, and having a good time. Mind you, it was not the same without her there, but it was nice to finally get out. And as all trips of joy do, this one has come to an end and back into reality I am. But what a beautiful place to be, in the world of reality!

Not much happened as I was away. The grass turned green, and the foliage has already grown several feet in that one week. The King Salmon season was somewhat of a bunk deal, but the early run of Reds is coming in and people are already flocking into the area with ice chests strapped to their vehicle roofs, and boats in tow. Kind of like seeing an old friend come home! It was just nice to be able to get out and trim the yard and mow the lawns. Like Maryann said earlier, it just looks so nice coming in the driveway. I have to say I enjoy the frigid winters, but do live for the sights, smells, and beauty of our summers here.

Well, short post as it is late I am at a loss for words, and I am getting tired. A note to leave you on. Being in California for a week was a little strange. Imagine going from almost 24 hours of daylight.....to actual dark nights?! Oh, it was a charge, man! I called Maryann at 9:45PM the first night and told her I was heading in because it was dark. And then she reminded me that it was light as noon out at 8:30PM and she was watering the lawns. So it took some time getting used to actually trying to go to sleep before midnight. In fact, I layed awake the first 5 nights until like 1:00AM and found myself waking at around 5:30AM. Then finally on like the 5th night started to sack out early and sleep past 5:30AM. Only to come home to lack of night and back into my old habits! Talk about a strain on the body.

Oh, and get this. So my flight out of SFO which was supposed to be around 7:50PM was late taking off by an hour. Then, we took an additional hour of flight due to turbulence. Mind you I had a flight taking me straight through to Anchorage. So after finally arriving in Anchorage at 1:30AM, we drove around for almost an hour trying to find a room for the night. Maryann was there to pick me up. We had absolutely no luck as Governor Sarah Palin was in Anchorage for a mayoral convention and every room in the city was either sold out or over $200.00. So around 2:30 AM we decided to make the trek home. It was smooth sailing until we hit road construction. You see, Alaskans know that there are two seasons here. Winter and construction season! With long winters and short summers, the window for road work is small, and there are alot of ice damaged roads to contend with each year. Couple in the daylight each day...all day. And we were fortunate enough to see front row our tax dollars at work. Sitting there, half asleep for an hour. A whole hour of going nowhere. Long story short, we finally got home around 7:00AM and headed straight for the bed. I even passed up early breakfast at Louie's in Kenai for fear that my head would flop in the stack of flap jacks! Like I said....it is so nice to be home! Thanks again to all I got to see for the hospitality and especially you Michelle (our friend and live in companion from our arrival here), for braving the masses to see me off at SFO. It was so nice to see you again. Until next time!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

'Stage Of Life'

Would you believe that after over 48 hours, that bush twit is still pecking at the same window?! What is up with this guy! The dogs have become immune to the distraction and Maryann is amazed yet baffled. I just shrug my head..... To each his own!

Exciting news! Recently I published a post here on the blog titled Congratulations! , in honor of Johns successful completion of his schooling. Apparently this post brought about some attention both in the form of tears and in the form of interest in my writing. Shortly after the post I received a comment from a successful businessman and knowledgable entrepreneur who recently started a 'lifestyle' website. Actually it is more than just a lifestyle site, as it allows everyday folks like you or myself to both read and comment on issues that face each and every one of us at one point or the other in our lives. From high school through retirement, this site provides the public with real time wisdom and knowledge from the people who 'have already been there and done that'. It offers suggestions and guidance to those who are moving through life's stages!

I was approached through that comment on our blog and was offered a place as a featured writer on this amazing website! I am just getting started, but will be venturing into this new and exciting opportunity to write and share some of the stages of my life that I have experienced. Such as 'Raising A Family', under which category I just published my first post. Life after. - Raising A Family Blog - Stage of Life - Stage of Life - Rewards for Life's Journey > Stage - Raising a Family > Posts, or any other stage that I feel I can contribute to.

You don't have to sign up to read the many wonderful posts from the knowledgeable writers or questions from other viewers. The benefit of signing up is that you can then participate in question and answer type forums, and as an added benfit you do get all kinds of discounts and bargains from such common merchants as Target, Amazon and too many others to mention. You will find all kinds of savings on shopping, merchandise, services, travel, health, food, books, music and more, just for signing up. I won't give any details but I just saved about $50.00 on a service that I regularly use just for becoming a member. There are no obligations, and no shenanigans involved, so I encourage you all to at very least, check it out and support me as a writer. In doing so you will also be supporting those many people both young and old who are experiencing new stages in their lives and just need a suggestion, opinion or some good encouragement.

I am excited about the opportunity that has reached out to me. I look forward to continuing not only my posts here on kenaialaskaorbust, but also to publishing posts and essays on Stage of Life. To be given the chance to be able to comment answers to questions, and share my experiences is an honor, and at the same time I find my knowledge expanding from the truth of others. To be able to learn something new everyday, grow and expand our horizons...what a wonderful thing! Take care for now, and hope you will continue to share this experience with me. Love to all!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The word that I've heard.

It took a while. It is like hush hush or something. Like if I know too much a black SUV with tinted windows will pull up, Jack Bauer will jump out and I will disappear. But the word came down. At least the short version! Yes, there was a fire at the refinery the other night. It was an electrical fire in one of the units. Fortunately nobody on site was hurt, although just minutes before it occurred there were people in that area, so we are lucky nobody got hurt. As for John Q. Public....your guess is as good as mine. It is said that the public would be notified if anything serious happened, and I have heard that from more than one person over time. But sitting there in my truck, thinking through my mind what I would do if at any moment the sirens went off, or the automated call came in. Scary Mary and crazy Larry I tell you! But this was info from a personal....shall we say, source?! Nothing in the papers, nothing on the news. Hmmmm. But life is all settled down, and from what my....source...tells me, they are still investigating the cause and that unit is shut down completely until. So there it is, the latest and greatest! Intense cliff hanger, huh?!

Onto bigger things. John is officially out and son, if you read this don't be offended....but life is good! It is sad to see the empty room. But knowing that soon I will be tearing into it and beginning the mini renovate we have been wanting to do, and then what the end result will be. It makes for smiles and abundant glee. All in all we are both happy for the dude, and we know he will do just fine. The sun has been in and out as of late. Right now there are two very annoying little bush twits pecking at the family room window and freaking the dogs out. They have been at it for about an hour and a half now, and I cant seem to get them to go on their way. Frankly, I am a bit frightened that if I try to go out and scare them off, they may try to peck my.....oh forget it, it is just freaky, man! Who are you and what do you want??? We have been getting a regular drizzle every other day though. My fear is that we are starting to look like last summer. No sun, clouds, and rain. UGH! Lets just hope it is temporary for now and the sun will prevail. We are nearing the solstice soon. The longest day of the summer. The day the sun never seems to go down!

We Alaskans are honored to know that as of Tuesday June 2nd, we were blessed with a visit by our Nations Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, at Fort Greely the northern most missile defense base for the northern hemisphere. You know, the one that would take out any incoming ICBMs from Asia or Russia. This is what he had to say, “That does'nt mean I think any less of missile defense — I told the Congress I’m a very strong supporter of missile defense — but I think we need to put the money where we can get some value out of it,” So I am figuring Mr. Gates, what you are saying is that we really don't need any missile defense, considering that North Korea is on a rampage and has about developed a long range missile that can reach Alaska? “It’s not a forever decision, and if capabilities in one of these rogue states should develop faster or in a more worrisome way than anyone anticipates, then I think the way is open in the future to add to the number of silos and interceptors up here,” Gates said. No truer words could be spoken from a bigger jackass. So what is it Bill...."are you on or off the bus" (quoted by the late Ken Kesey of the Merry Pranksters) (which by the way, Maryann got a personal letter from Kens wife last month....no joke!) I know I know, I would never get political in our blog..... And I am not. I am not saying a word about the Obama administration. I am just amazed that we still have not learned our lesson. Keep up the good work guys! Palin in 2012! Ok so now that I have given myself gas, I am going to go for now. Just thought I would share the word, the skinny, and the crap that has been on my mind the past couple of days! Hope all is well in the other part of the world. Us Eskimos are pretty isolated and primitive up here. If we see any incoming scuds we will just throw stones and spears at it to bring it down, no worries here! For now! Our love.